Gone I remember when I was young. Carefree. Jaunty. Sanguine. Small eyes fogged with lies Seen through artificial smiles, Drenched in delicate Perverse Calumny. Pleasing was always Daunting In a world expecting Perfection. More and more I have yearned for Their warmth. Craving praise in Every amercement. Only starving for A mother's love, Salvaging happiness To the last velvety Drop. Never once did I Bite the hand that Feeds, Meekly afraid of Doubtful scorns. Obediant I did stay While my childhood faded, Leaving what I regreted, To the hand
HimHe said he wouldHe never didHe said he couldHe never didHe said he shouldHe never didHe said he didHe never would
AngerAngerAngerRunning throughmeI shakefuriouslyIt's unbearableI can't hold onmuch longer"Stupid"It's trying topush throughMy eyesI hold back itbackFighting tokeep myself together"Dummy"I clench myfistsExcruciatingpainI can't walk itoffI just can't"Stupid"It breaksthrough my wallIt falls on mycheeksSqueals andsmall whinesCome from mymouth, resolute"Dummy"I can't take itI'm done withthisIt breaks meI shatter topieces"Stupid"
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,And yet you lie awake.Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,And genuinely fear for your safety?Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,Be it my pride or dignity.You may throw insults at me,And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.You may belittle me, as much as you want,If only to make your meager life worth living.---But even if you do all that...---No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place..."Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-believing shecould only hurtanyone who gottoo close,forgetting thatinside,she held whatpeople neededmost.
i'd haunt you if you'd like.my hands are paralyzed and you're waiting for me to touch your face,but that doesn't really matter because i'd rather touch your souland if you close your eyes long enough i'll read you poetry as we lay atop the monkeybarsin this old and rusted parkyou can pretend to know the constellations and point them out to me and i'll tell you they're all beautiful, but nothing compared to youif i'm lucky you'll blush and laugh at me,tell me i say the dumbest things but deep down it'll register in your soul just how much i love youand i know they say you can only save yourself, but darling i swear if you'll just have the slightest bit of faith i'll save the fuck out of you or i'll destroy myself trying,because i honestly can't think of any other purpose for my lifeor what smidge of it i've been able to hold on to.
Hopeful HeartThe sky is pitch blackAnd so is my heartAfter all the painI went throughAfter all the effortFor a lost causeSo I look upLooking for a starA ray of lightTo guide me awayAway from this darkness inside my heart
You have to know pain to....Sometimes you have to fall apart.You have to bleed out,In order to have the courage to shout.Against the darkness.You have to know what it's like,To feel disconnected,Separated.From reality.To be best friends with your anxiety,Because it's the only thing to keep you company.Because you've never felt so lonely.Even though you're surrounded in a sea of noise,Which drowns out your voice.As you choke,On society's nooseYou're afraid to cut it loose.Because you don't know what others will think of you.You have to know depression.You have to know what it's like to be alone.You have to know what it's like to be silenced.In order to appreciate breathing,And to fall in love with colors.After being blind,For all of that time.And only being able to see memories,On rewind.In order to appreciate a person's presence.And the feeling,Of content.When you finally find a friend.Who will stick with you until the end.And not judge you for your scars.But loves who you are.In
OppositeOpenDon't close itOnDon't turn it offColdDon't warm it upUpDon't pull it downInDon't take it out