Gone I remember when I was young. Carefree. Jaunty. Sanguine. Small eyes fogged with lies Seen through artificial smiles, Drenched in delicate Perverse Calumny. Pleasing was always Daunting In a world expecting Perfection. More and more I have yearned for Their warmth. Craving praise in Every amercement. Only starving for A mother's love, Salvaging happiness To the last velvety Drop. Never once did I Bite the hand that Feeds, Meekly afraid of Doubtful scorns. Obediant I did stay While my childhood faded, Leaving what I regreted, To the hand
HimHe said he wouldHe never didHe said he couldHe never didHe said he shouldHe never didHe said he didHe never would
AngerAngerAngerRunning throughmeI shakefuriouslyIt's unbearableI can't hold onmuch longer"Stupid"It's trying topush throughMy eyesI hold back itbackFighting tokeep myself together"Dummy"I clench myfistsExcruciatingpainI can't walk itoffI just can't"Stupid"It breaksthrough my wallIt falls on mycheeksSqueals andsmall whinesCome from mymouth, resolute"Dummy"I can't take itI'm done withthisIt breaks meI shatter topieces"Stupid"
You are StrongYou are so, so strong.Whatever you’re going through,Just keep onKeeping on.The time it takesMight be short or long,But you will findThat perfect placeWhere you belong.Just hold on.
The Words you Don't want to HearBy the time,You read this...
It's Okay to be SelfishSometimes, you have to do things just for yourself.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to stay in bed,Empty your head,And think of all the nice thingsYou've ever had saidTo you.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to cry,Scream like you’re going to die,And just lieAround, being sad.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to shut everything out,Just forget aboutWhat you want to be without.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got to talk,Just let the words walkOut of your mouth,Carrying your thoughts with them.And that’s okay.Sometimes you’ve got be selfish.And that’s okay -You do whatever it takes,To get you through the day.
That's So Gay"That's so gay,"Is what you say,But silently,You've pushed oneOf your friends away."Oh no, honey,Boys don't playWith Barbie dolls."By enforcing gender roles,You are killingYour kids,And telling themThat you'll love them no matter what**Conditions apply.Don't push your loved onesAwayWith things you do or say,Because words hurt;But they hurt mostFrom the mouths ofThe people that told you,They'd always love you.Saying, "that's so gay",Or making them behaveIn a gendered way,Is telling themThat it's not okayTo be somethingThey can't help.(And even if they could,Why wouldIt matter?)And it will hurt themForever,And every time you're together,They'll be wondering;"Am I wrong?""Do I really belong?"Every time you say something like,"That's so gay",You burn someone's trust away.And you can't build anything backFrom ash.
My Mother Found a Suicide NoteI'm going to paintthese white walls redwith a loaded gunand the pull of a trigger.Say goodbye to allof my worries and insecuritiesand add another notch to my razor.Another handful of pillsto take away the painand the lies of yesterday.Inhale the poisonto quicken the diseasethat's slowly killing me.Allow the numbnessto run through my bloodstreamand silence my demons.My body is becoming coldand I cannot feel a thing anymore.The white walls are red,my razor has another notch,the lies of yesterday are gone,the disease has reached my heart,and my demons are quiet.I'm home.
A Letter To The Girl Who Hates Her BodyA letter to the girl who hates her body.A letter to that girlWho scrolls through tumblr.Admiring all of those models.With thigh gaps that look cute with skirts.And a waist that you can barely see.You're beautifulA letter to the girlWho looks at models,For their curves.The way their hips go outwardsAnd their size D cup breasts.You're beautiful.Please don't look in the mirror,And hate the girl you see.That girl is youAnd she should be loved unconditionally.Because you deserve love.And how much love is not determined on your waist size,Whether you're chubby or skinnyYou're still so very pretty.You're so perfect.So for every time you look in that mirror.And tell yourself you aren't worth it.That you're arms are too big,Your hips aren't big enough.Stop.Tell yourself.I am a woman.A lady.I am strong.I have a body like a castle.A kingdom made just for me.And I will not destroy that castle,By trying to starve myself.By taking brick by brick and dismantling it
The Third DeathFor RonThe first deathturns your bodyinto the grassand trees,every breath of air you hadsent sprinting like childrenacross the blue-sky meadow.The second deathis when the laughterand champagne-gold connectionsquiet into sparks.Illuminating our citiesfor as long as us.The third deathis when your actions stophaving impact.It is never,it is when post-heat velvetbursts into a new cosmic flower.Breathtaking anicca.Every kiss, every laugh,all those tears-they turn the Sun.Every laugh of inkthat bursts from our pens-that is the immortal part of us.Life, this ball of beauty-chaos,it is to be cherished.You gave usso many flowers.May their petals live forever.
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondlyof passions and talents,of guitars and stars,with such breathless intensitythen stops short andapologisesfor speaking at all.All because somewhere in her life,someone she loved broke her heartby ignoringher beautiful wordsand telling her toshut up,keep it down,nobody cares.People aren’t born sad.We make them that way.
We are burning like sunsYour dreams do not reside in a far-flung galaxy,wishing on the stars arching above our planispherewill not bring them any closer.Your strength does not hide around the endless curveof a winding riverbend,currents cannot take you there, paddles will not help.As a pin-head holds millions of atoms, so too doesevery cell in your body, every pore.Your dreams lie nestled in the ravines of your palms,and you are star-dust;Strength is pooled within your blood,you hold a universe within your spine and the cosmosinside your skin is full of unlimitedpossibilities.
OppositeOpenDon't close itOnDon't turn it offColdDon't warm it upUpDon't pull it downInDon't take it out